Doran Martell: Have you ever considered that maybe some of these girls are not yours? Their mothers could just be claiming that you're the father because they know you would give their bastard children a better life than they could.
Obara Sand: *fearsome warrior who aggressively hates Westeros*
Nymeria Sand: *has threesomes with identical female twins*
Tyene Sand: *poisons anyone and everyone who gets in her way*
Sarella Sand: *disguises herself as a man so she can study in Oldtown*
Oberyn Martell: Yeah I'm fairly certain that they're all mine.